Scheduling & Planning
Each Courageous Girls group looks a little bit different and does what is best for them.
Here are ideas for what an annual calendar might look like, as well as retreats and Daddy/Daughter camping trips.
Sample Annual Calendar
It’s helpful to have an idea of what the entire year will look like for your CG group before you even send out your first invitation. Your annual calendar will establish a rhythm for your group that will set the tone for the next 4-6 years together. Here is one way CG groups have set up the year; there is no way that will work for every group, though, so don’t be afraid to start here and re-organize in whatever way works best for you.
If you are wanting to start a group during the ideal time (late summer/early fall), here are a few tips to help ensure you’ll be ready when that time rolls around.
Spring/Summer
Before your group starts
April – Begin praying and extend an invitation to 6-8 moms by the end of April. This will give you time to invite another mom and daughter based on the moms who say yes and if there is still room. Here is a link to a sample initial invitation that you could modify to send out to potential CG mamas.
May – Get the moms together to share more of the vision and allow them to catch the passion you have for Courageous Girls. This will also help them plan and prioritize what their family says “yes” to for the following year.
June or July – Have an informal playdate at your home or at a park to meet and have the girls get to know one another in a casual format.
Late Summer/Early Fall
The ideal time for CG groups to begin meeting
August – Email a CG Schedule for the year.
September – Initial CG meeting
October – 2nd CG meeting
November – 3rd CG meeting
Winter:
December – 4th CG meeting; Serve as a group; attend an event together
January – 5th CG meeting
February – Retreat (Choose from one of the options provided or build your own.)
Spring:
March – 6th CG meeting
April – 7th CG meeting
May -8th (final) CG group meeting of the year
Summer:
June and July – Father/Daughter campout or game night; Group connection activities; Prepare for next year.
Retreats
Retreats are fun but they are also important opportunities for groups to build trust & intimacy, and to go deeper into the content of each years’ primary focus. Typically 1-3 days in length, this extended time period will look different for every group but is always a powerful way to engage your group and bond.
The retreat outline, included with each year of CG curriculum, will give you suggestions for where to host retreats and how to organize the time spent together, curriculum guidance and meal prepping ideas.
Consider doing a retreat at the beginning of the year, or within the first two months, as it helps all participants share a common vision and develop deeper relationships that can only be fostered outside the rhythm of monthly gatherings.
For more retreat info and inspiration, check out this article by Terra Mattson, CG Retreats: The Why and How.
Mother/Daughter Overnight Retreats
These are ideal for any group starting out, especially if many of the moms and daughters are new to one another. Extended retreats provide many different organic factors that allow natural barriers to break down so the group can lay a foundation for the year(s) to come.
The ideal amount of time is 2 nights, as it takes a little bit of time before everyone starts to settle down; new friendships evolve over making meals together, playing games, having deep talks and observing the similarities shared by all girls and women.
It is normal for both moms and daughters to feel nervous about these kinds of retreats; we all have our own hang-ups about how we sleep, daily routines, letting other women see us without our makeup and hair done, etc.. For some girls, this might be the very first time they have slept away from home. Consider these apprehensions and make sure to find a place that allows for decent sleep and as much bathroom privacy as possible. Ideally, you may be able to find a friend or community organization with a “free” option to prevent cost from being a barrier for anyone in the group.
Mother/Daughter Day Retreats
A day retreat is a great alternative to overnight retreats, when the logistics are too complicated for the group. It is also less expensive. If this is the option you decide on, make the most of the day by starting early and have as much interaction between moms and daughters as possible. See the retreat outlines, included with each year of CG lessons, for ideas to help integrate the yearly curriculum and to make your retreat the best launch pad for deeper relationships within the CG group.
A Mother’s Reflection about Retreat
“I remember our first retreat well. Most of the women did not know each other and I am not kidding when I say every single mom mentioned at some point that she “did not belong” in this group for one reason or another. It was then that I realized Courageous Girls was not just for our daughters, but was for us moms as well. We all need to develop courage and strengthen our identity in Christ so that we are not bound by our own silly tapes that play in our heads or by hurtful past experiences that keep us from forging new ground. By the end of the weekend, every mom was surprised at how well her daughter had connected and how the moms themselves had found common ground with one another. Moving from the retreat into the rest of the Courageous Girls meetings made a big difference in how fast our group bonded and created an “us” identity rather than all the individual families we started as.”
Mom Retreats (a.k.a. “mamatreats”)
These retreats have been a tradition that moms always look forward to, not only as restful getaways, but also as a time to pray, process our relationships with God, and set intentions for our relationships with our daughters. They are also opportunities to “get out of our boats” that we row daily and step in to paddle with another mama as we begin to see life from one another’s perspective during this time. Each year, aim to have a spiritual focus and then foster conversations that point all the mamas toward their purpose. And, remember to have a lot of fun together, too!
Dads and Daughters
Though this curriculum is primarily for moms and daughters, we believe dads play vital roles in the lives of girls. Daddy’s can often set the tone for what kind of man a daughter will be attracted to and strongly impacts how she regards herself around boys and men, in general. However, many girls do not have actively engaged or healthy dads in their lives, Finding a male figure (such as an uncle, a grandfather, or youth leader) who can invest in your daughter will help fill in gaps for her while building resiliency and confidence. Visit the resource page for more books to help foster healthy relationships in this part of your daughter’s life. To find more free resources for Dads & Daughters, visit: http://www.drmichellewatson.com/resources/.
Helpful Hints for Dads, Written by a Dad:
Add “become a better listener for her” as an annual line-item on your New Year’s resolutions. Learn to slow down, be present and actually mirror, validate, and empathize what your daughter has to say.
Put her in position to lead when you play, and enter into her world, participating in what she wants to do with you. (Warning: This may involve dolls and tea-cups.)
Notice and affirm her with your words. Identify what’s going on with her, from the smallest things (like a change in accessories or hairstyle), to more important things (like the way you see her growing in her responsibilities such as chores, homework and looking people in the eye). This establishes trust between you and helps build rapport so that when the bigger issues come up (like helping her believe she is beautiful and does not need to exercise 7 days per week), she believes that you are speaking truth, out of love.
Check in with her regularly to get feedback on how she thinks you’re doing being a safe, caring, listener to her. Be ready to hear that you are not doing well. Take time to ask her what you can do better and then follow-through before the next check-in.
Make memories together, just you and her! Gift her a scrapbook that she can decorate and fill with pictures taken during memory-making events. Help her pick out a special frame for a photo of the two of you that stays near her bed.
Annual Courageous Girls Father/Daughter Campouts
Consider executing a memorable campout for the CG dads and daughters. This can become a tradition that everyone looks forward to each year. Consider starting by pitching tents in someone’s backyard and gradually move into the wilderness. Set a standard that incorporates each dad/daughter pair setting up their own tent, hiking mountains, playing Capture the Flag, swimming in a river, lake or other body of water, and preparing a shared dinner over fire. After songs and s’mores with the large group, dads retire with their own daughters. Once inside the tent, read a hand-written letter to your girl, prepared in advance. Give it to her to keep. The letter is designed to speak right to her heart: Affirming her worth (first and most importantly); identifying a couple things she has done in the past year that you want to celebrate; and lastly, addressing an area that you would like to see her develop this year as you cheer her on. As you can imagine, this is a powerful and significant moment for both dads and daughters. Get the Kleenex!
Annual Courageous Girls Daddy/Daughter Dinner Dates
Dads can arrange an individual date with their daughters or go as a larger Courageous Girls group. In either case, remember that dads are teaching their daughters how to relate to boys and be treated with respect. Go overboard in opening her door, helping her with her coat and making her feel special. Make sure to put away technology, work or any other distractions and honor her feelings. Reiterate to her that her words have power and that her ‘no’ has merit. Girls listen to dads — even when dads don’t get it right. Your influence over her at this vulnerable age will impact her for life.