October 2024 Newsletter
Courageous Girls: Know What It Means to Belong.
I share my own story of belonging in my first book, Courageous: Being Daughters Rooted in Grace. I also share about hosting my first Courageous Girls Mama retreat. In summary, I was shocked to find that every single mom felt insecure about her place in our newly forming group. The "I am not enough" or "I am too much" plagues us all. We all wonder: "Do I belong here?"
With a right heart, many of us mamas are unaware of our daughter's questions here. Others are still recovering from her own adolescent wounds. We want to teach our daughters to love "everyone" in the name of Jesus. And yet it's a God-designed human need to want to find our people - those we can truly call friends. The balance is important, and we spend months and years practicing these principles in Courageous Girls.
I have spent years studying and helping others grow in confidence, healthy relationships, resiliency. Using attachment theories and trauma research, I still find my best-case studies in the life of Jesus and how He relates to those in his sphere of influence. Jesus models the way we can be loving to all and go deeper with a few well. He chose twelve men (and a few women) to travel with him wherever he went in life. For three years, they ate, served, and walked together. Within those twelve, were three key friends, John of whom "he loved the most" according to John himself. 😂 In truth, some say that the intimately personal nature of the book of John reveals a very close relationship with Jesus. Some have even called him Jesus's best friend. All while Jesus has a posse of disciples and few besties, he also was able to serve and love those in the community as they went along the way.
Jesus was the best at seeing and valuing those who rarely were given good attention. And he invested his time with a few good friends. Both are possible.
And that is what we are trying to model to our Courageous Girls groups as we talk about being a good friend and someone who extends the love of Jesus to anyone in our community. Both can exist. It's not easy, as staying in our most "comfortable" relationships will always be a pull for even the strongest extravert.
As we all grow as women, young and old, every woman wonders if she belongs.
You are not alone. You belong here.
With love,
Words of Love
Two are better than one, because they have a good return on their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Words of insight
It is human and even God-designed to want to “belong.” We are made for relationships and long to have a place we can be fully ourselves and known. It is also important to remember that showing God’s love to everyone around us is a huge part of how people experience who God is. Though our culture is full of inequitable social hierarchies and inauthenticity, God sees everyone as valuable and does not have favorites.
Courageous Girls are aware of those who are on the edge of community and need a place to belong, even sacrificing popularity in order to be a girl of love. The hardest part is balancing deep and close friendships without becoming an exclusive clique. Sometimes we will go to extreme lengths to try to belong or be noticed by others. When we know we are loved by God, and have safe relationships with our family and friends, we can venture outside our comfort zone and invite others to be a part of our “circle.”
Parenting Tips
Sometimes we find ourselves feeling lonely in the midst of loving everyone. Having close friends is a vital part of living life to the fullest and being a Courageous Girl means that we can go deep in a few friendships while still loving others well. NO ONE enjoys being on the outside. In fact, when we decide to follow Jesus, His power fills us up and we are able to belong to Him as a child of God.
This never changes; we always have a place to belong as God’s child, but we also gain the kind of love that can reach out to those who need hope, kindness, care, and safety. Building belonging in safe and deeper friendships is a learned skill, and the relationship between mother and daughter is the safest and most powerful place to develop it. Mom, the value we place in relationships and the ways we build them matters, especially because we know our daughters are watching. Your example will lay the foundation for your daughter to build her own community where she can thrive.
Updates
Help us fund the Courageous Girls Podcast, coming 2025!
Hosted by founder, counselor, coach, author and executive director, Terra Mattson, this one-of-a-kind podcast will help you with every important aspect of raising your daughter in a world full of confusing messages.
Alongside leading experts and experienced CG mamas, we will be answering common questions, equipping you to show up for your daughter with growing confidence.
DM us @mycourageousgirls to submit your questions or topics you want Terra to cover!
You can support CG with a tax-deductible donation.
So far, we have raised just over $40,000 of the $100,000 goal we have in 2024. These funds are going toward the new CG App, curriculum editing and design updates, a new Courageous Girls Podcast, CG leader training and resources, admin. support and staff.
Learn more and donate HERE.
Merch Store
Take advantage of our Fall Free Shipping
and get a jumpstart on your holiday shopping!
Get free shipping through October 31st when you use the code: FALLFREE
100% of your purchase supports the mission of Courageous Girls and helps keep the CG curriculum free.
Visit the CG Shop
Monthly Challenge
Mom & Daughter Pair Share Brainstorming
1. Write a list of practical ways you can be a good friend and create safe places for people to belong, develop deeper friendships, and grow in trust (think about the CG group as a good example).
2. Write a list of practical ways you can intentionally reach out to others who might be on the outside.
3. Pick two ideas from each list. Check in together when you have accomplished one of your items and talk about what it was like.
Our Favorite Resources
Is your group registered on the App?
Now you have access to all CG offers in the palm of your hand...with special features CG leaders will LOVE!
Go to your favorite app store on your phone and search for Courageous Girls to download and get started.
Get more details HERE.
Helping Moms Raise Confident Daughters Courses
One of our favorite ways to encourage healthy mother-daughter relationships is to schedule monthly one-on-one dates.
Through the Christian Parenting platform, Terra Matton’s video courses provide a regular rhythm structure where you and your daughter can grow together and nurture godly confidence. Just pick the course that fits her season of life.
Learn more HERE.
SAVE THE DATES
Join us for the 2024-2025 Parenting Teens Workshops.
Location: Rolling Hills Community Church, Tualatin, OR — Courtyard Room
$5 per attendee/couple (bring your spouse for free!)
Register HERE.
Limited space so register early.
November 20th
Through the scope of CVI assessment, Jeff & Terra Mattson, LPC, LMFT, teach parents how to parent a child's individual wiring, impacting their identity formation, gift discovery, time management and conflict/communication.
January 22, 2025
Terra Mattson, MA LMFT, LPC, and Annie Beckstrand, LPC Associate, will walk you through helping your teens develop a sexual ethics and healthy relationships.
March 19, 2025
Heidi Tilltotson, LMFT, and Marlys Peterson, LPC, of Living Wholehearted will provide insight on helping your teen with big emotions, including depression & anxiety.
May 21, 2025
Terra Mattson, MA LMFT, LPC, and the LW Counseling Team will discuss how to develop a student's EQ and what transitioning from parent to coach/mentor can look like.
Eager to hear more from CG’s cofounder and director, Terra Mattson?
Click HERE to check out Terra’s speaking schedule.
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